The Rotten Apple.....

Where are all the nice guys?

2009-06-24T09:21:00.000-07:00

Came across this journal entry by a certain guy that was posted on facebook. Now i am not trying to sound like a sour grape or similar but quite frankly... i couldn't agree more with the author enough. Check it out.

"What Happened to All the Nice Guys?"
Date: 2007-11-19, 3:52AM PST

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.What happened to all the nice guys?
The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were ****ing treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry <-- Chivalry is Dead . He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:1.) Build a time machine.2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

That is.. if you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've ****ed yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bull**** and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't ****ing want you, now.

Sincerely,A Recovering Nice Guy

Watchmen....

2009-03-08T04:04:00.000-07:00

Finally caught the movie 'Watchmen' along with my brother today. Have been reading a lot of really unfavourable reviews and feedbacks with regards to the movie. Some saying that it is Slow, others saying that it is confusing. Even managed to find a certain statement on a Smelly Wanker's blog (guess who) stateing that it was overhyped and had a lack of depth considering that the graphic novel was considered a epic creation.

In view of all these i heard i decided to have a brief browse through the Comic b4 the movie and i personally felt that i kind of enjoyd it quite a bit! Firstly, this wasn't the conventional good versus evil story that we have always heard of. Instead it involves a more complex conspiracy theory and also a closer understanding of the characters personlities.

So for those who find it too complex, i could only say it about time you stopped watching the power rangers and switchedto something else. And as for those who feel that it does not have enough depth.... Please..... ITS A FREAKING MOVIE ADAPTATION!!!! Apart from the usual time constraint (of not letting it become a 5 hour movie), there are also other factors to be considered like the condensation of the storyline for the maintream audience.... so Quit Whining.

Looks like the Watchmen hype have spread into the Bearbrick world and Peanuts world as well! Have been hoping to buy myself a Watchmen Bearbrick set too.... really expensive though... Well... we'll see how!

Rants of a Trance Addict

2009-03-03T04:36:00.000-08:00

I love music... to me it is a form of expression...it is a universal language that everyone understands... It is powerful enough to instigate emotions of any kind within a person. Those that know me well enough probably would have heard of these phrases comin out of my mouth before. For the past 2 years or so i have been introduced to Trance music or some may also call it 'Space music' and have been totally addicted to it since. The strange thing is that this really differed from the type of music that i had been associated to such as Rock, Jazz, R&B.... etc... But i guess there is a begining to everything i guess.

It is amazing how the music can really connect to me... even some of the phrases in the songs all of a sudden made a lot of sense. Phrases like 'Sometime the sound of goodbye is louder than any drumbeat..' Perhaps it is because of my current emotional status.. perhaps it is my current state of mind.. but all i can say is... I am glad Trance is a part of my life...

Moments of 2008

2009-01-01T22:11:00.000-08:00

I was trying to figure out a way to do a recap of how was 2008 went for me and i finally decided to do it in the form of short scripted segment

Prologe
This happened on the day i came back from my Sales Trip in Hong Kong, i was excited to see my (then) girlfriend again after 2 weeks of not seeing her. (She went of to Genting with her ex supervisor and friend the week before i left for Hong Kong)

(Thru Smses)
Herbert: Hey dear, i am back! What time shall we meet today? I have lots of stuff to pass to you.

Stella: I'm not feeling well... can we meet in Pungol Park for dinner? Then you can bring me home to show me what you've bought.

Herbert: Are you ok dear? You sure you don't wanna stay at home to rest?

Stella: No, its ok... I see you then... Love you..

(Later at Pungoll park)

Herbert: Are you feeling better dear? Did you see a doctor?

Stella : I am ok, lets sit down for a while...

Herbert: You sure you are ok? Is there anything troubling you? Tell me....

Stella: I'm Breaking up with you.

Herbert (Trembling): Why?

Stella: I don't love you anymore...

Herbert(shudders and breathes deeply): Is it me?

Stella: No.

Herbert: Is it someone else?

Stella: No.

Herbert: ..........

Stella: Dear, I SWEAR it wasn't someone else......

Herbert: I still love you a lot.... but i don't wnt to be selfish..... i told you this 7 year ago and i am saying it again... no matter what i will always want to be a part of your life, be it as friends or otherwise.

Stella: Yea... i promise we will always be friends...

Epiloge
Stella blocked me on Msn the next day, She got attached with her ex-supervisor the following week, and they got Engaged within the month. She believes that a friend of hers spilled the beans about her engagement to me and is still mad with the friend since (When in actual fact i found out about her marriage and Engagement through FACEBOOK)

A Fault Finding Nation?

2008-12-17T17:17:00.000-08:00

Everyday nevertheless we will find ourselves critisizing the acts of others. The question that i ask myself constantly is 'Is it really that big a deal?' Every morning on my way to work i will manage to grab a copy of 'mypaper'. Apart from the daily news updates what always interest me is the STOMP 'Singapore Seen' segment where people post up pictures of what they encounter in their daily lives (The convenience of Camera phones). What has always amused me is Everyones ability to critisize those around us. Looking through the entire Stomp segment, it is mostly filled with people pointing out the errs of those who consume food within th MRT. Now don't get me wrong, coz i personally have never consume food in the MRT myself (with the occasional breath mint of course) But seriously.... do we really enjoy pointing out the errs of others so much that we have to highlight every single sighting of ones mistake regardless of what it is or consequence might arise from it?

From this i do recall a incident that i witnessed while in a friends car some time ago, a friend of mine (Lets call her Ms C) was driving me and a 'aquaintance' of mine (I would love to call him Keyboard Warrior Stupid Wuss but in this case i will just address him as K) home. Enroute, we came across a vehicle that was illegally parked on the roadside. Well yes, the vehicle did seem to to be of obstruction in a minor way but it was Mr K's reaction that caught my attention.

Mr K exclaimed:

"What the hell!!! An inconsiderate driver!! I am going to take a picture of it for STOMP! I may get a new phone out of it!!"

Is that what we have become? People that are totally oblivious of our own faults and can only see the shortcomings of others? It is dissapointing... as well as disgusting...

Come to think about it, Mr K have constantly told me previously (When we are on talking terms) on how he has been a good & devout Christian and that had propelled him into doing 'The right thing' everytime, how i should be more focused in my faith and do the same. Well Mr K, all i can say is even though i would not dare consider myself a very good and devout Christian, My Dad quoted me this phrase from the bible when i was a kid:

“You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:5

Perhaps with this blog post i too have failed to notice the own log in my eye while commenting on the specks in others, But know this Mr K, at least i am constantly trying to remove the log in my eye.... are you?

Stored up Emotions...

2008-10-12T09:07:00.000-07:00

During the past few months many things have been happening in my life mainly due to informationi have recieved and all. Yes... i know that the rotten apple isn't exactly for ranting purposes but i am just gonna bang on the hopes that since no one i know actually pays attention to this particular blog of mine, i am going to take this opportunity to go postal with my words and emotions for this particular entry.

To the girl whom had my heart but decided to crush it so that she may find her own happiness:

First of all... Yes... i noe you are engaged... i knew it all along. I was just hoping for you to tell me in person. and perhaps help me understand how did it happen so fast. But apparently you felt that using Facebook to let me know would be the best way there is. You claim till this very instant that it was not a 3rd party situation.... are you trying to convince me that? Or are you trying to convince yourself that? You keep saying 'Doesn't it matter now?' To tell you the truth, Yes it does... cause you were the cause of all this. Perhaps it doesn't matter for you, but the world doesn't exist just for you and in this case, i think you should be placed under the lowest of priorities. You tell everyone i have every right to be angry at you, so what? Does that justify what you have done and is doing this very moment? You also tell others you are angry at me for putting messages of depression on my MSN... as well as trying to add Alvin on facebook (you did introduced him to me on your D&D remember), So what seems to be the problem? Am i not entitled to be depressed after all this has happened, or am i not entitled to add Alvin to facebook cause you think i am trying to destroy your happiness? And above it all.... do you seriously think you have ANY RIGHT to behave like a victim AT ALL??? Do you think you have ANY RIGHT to critisize me AT ALL?? Go ask yourself that... Or maybe you could use the 'Say what you want' tactic to brush this whole issue aside again. But the bottom line is... I hope you are happy... coz your happiness is based on the sorrow of others.

Into the Mirror.....

2008-07-18T21:52:00.000-07:00

Back in school... I was an angry kid. I am not gonna elaborate to much on why for now as that will be a story reserved for another day. I had a lot of stored up anger in me, which pretty much resulted in me being rather antagonistic to everyone around me. Had a chat with my Dad during a certain point in my life and he reminded me, If you start to feel that you have a problem with everyone around you (what i would like to refer to the everyones an idiot syndrome) take a closer look as the problem may lie with you in the first place.

Sure, upon reading this many might say 'like i haven't heard that one before' and if you are one of those mentioned above and you follow the process of self scrutinizing once in a while well good for you then. If not, take some time off to think about it.

Anyway, heres a shoutout to 2 aquaintances in my life whoes friendship actually meant something to me at a certain point in my life.

To the first person - Life doesn't revolve around you. You probably think that life is like a movie and you are the protagonist in it, but remember whiile you think you are the main character in your life story you may be just a passerby in other peoples life. Well, Go ahead... Imply to others that i am of bad character by saying things like 'At least now i know what type of person Herbert really is.' But guess what? I've heard from others what type of person you have been and i have only a few words for you. You get yours someday.

To the second person - You are not as much of a 'nice guy' as you seem, So stop flattering yourself with the whole 'Maybe i am just too nice to people' bullshit. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and your Flu so to speak (It may be a Sinus problem from where i see it and newsflash, it is very common. Even i have it.) Stop Blaming life and the society around you and stop walking in circles. You think you have done a lot for this person, So? others havent done the same( or more) for her? You feel that you have constantly been a friend to others, So what? Others have not reciprocated that? Grow up you milksop.

Well, I am finally glad i got that off my chest after months of reading obscure crap for one (or both) of the blogs of the above two aquaintances of mine. Til then! Heres the Rotten apple this week.

All by oneself???

2008-06-27T08:55:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend recently and something we were discussing about struck a chord in me. It was like this, Peter (not real name of course) was about to finish his Studies very soon and was about to step into the corporate world just like everyone else. Heres the thing, Peter was not sure what exactly was the job that was suited for him. However, he did know that he wanted to do something similar as his sister. Upon hearing him i said,

'Why not approach your sister for help? I am sure she will help you'

'No, I don't need or want her to help me. I want to handle it by myself.' He replied.

His reply made me think, Why does everyone always want to handle things all by themselves and in their own way as well? Is it because thy do not wish to superimpose and trouble those around them? Or could it be just because of Pride and Ego?

I Actually remember myself behaving the exact same way in my younger days. And even though i wish i am able to tell everyone and myself that i rejected the help around me for nobel reasons but i could actually remember me thinking to myself on how i wanted to do everything by myself and in my own way because i wanted to prove to everyone that i am 'above average' and i am 'different'. Well... that was a long time ago i have outgrowed that, seems that there are some people that i noticed that may need a much longer time in the maturity process.

Well back to Peter, I managed to explain the logic to him.

Accepting help is not a sign of weakness, instead it helps you to come to terms that you still have a long way to go and you need help. Many successful people in life had recieved assistance from the people around them and one point or other durinbg their lives and that doesn't make them any lesser of a respected person. However, it is important to know that one day we may find ourselves in the position of being able to help others just as others have done for us, and when that moment comes....... well... i am sure you know what to do. Cheers!

Helping to heal or Causing more hurt?

2008-06-16T02:31:00.000-07:00

Heres a Story,

Boy meets Girl, They fell in love and got into a relationship. Things went pretty well for quite sometime untill one of them felt that the relationship was not what she was looking for. Moreover, Girl met someone else which made her feel different. She feel that maybe this new guy is the right one for her as opposed to her original choice.

Thus came the problem, she had to find a way to end her current relationship with Boy. But she does not want to be seen as the dumper, after all her Boy was a typical nice guy who has not done anything wrong to her before. So she came up with a plan, she will be as difficult and critical as possible. She will criticize his every move and show absolute no appreciation to whatever things he does for her. She hopes that this will cause him to dump her eventually. But no matter what she did, he still loved her as much. She felt that she had no choice but to initiate the break up eventually.

Boy seemed to take it rather well on the surface, told her that he was sad but he did not want to force her into anything that she did not want to be a part of. He told her he still wanted to be friends with her, and thus the beautiful relationship that he thought he had Ended.

Girl knew that Boy was just putting on a strong front. She knew that he is probably completely shattered inside. The worst part was that she felt she was the cause of all this. 'What should she do to make things better?' she thinks.... as she couldn't really think of a good way to handle this, she decided that the best way perhaps was to just fade away from the persons life well 'Out of Sight Out of Mind' No? And if through her dissapearing act he can bring himself to hate her for that, wouldn't that help him to let go? She feels that will be the best solutionand decided to just turn hostile.

Conclusion.... Well, there isn't a conclusion actually.... did the Boy managed to let go by bringing himself to hate her? Or did her actions (or lack of action) bring about more pain and sorrow for him? Really depends I guess... I came across a poem that was from a movie of the same title, i edited it a little though so it can apply to this context though. Well, this is for you...

10 things I hate about you

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you overreact, I hate it when you stare.

I hate your infatuation with shoes, and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick,it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you’re always right, I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh,even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close…not even a little bit… not even at all.

Of Ostritches and Men.....

2008-06-08T10:22:00.000-07:00

I first came across this phrase when i was in primary school. It was taught to me by my father. Directly translated from Mandarin it was be known as 'Ostritch Spirit' or 'Ostritch Behaviour' depending on the preference of the translator. Now what exactly does the term mean you say? Well it is technically ather similar to what i mentioned in the my previous post yet in a opposite direction tho. The previous theory explains how a person would choose to see a scenario from 1 single biased perspective. This theory basically explains how a person refuses to acknowledge the presence of a problem in the first place. There are many different behaviour traits that these ostritch/human hybrids can possess, Such as:

1) Refusal to acknowledge the presence of a problem no matter how obvious or severe the implications are to the person or the people around him.
2) Refusal to acknowledge that it is any part of his resposibility (May start pointing fingers as a result) As the saying goes blame people, blame society blame the whole world except oneself.
3) In event of conflict with another party, may constantly attempt to convince himself and the whole world that he has done all he can (when in actual fact he may have been walking in circles) and that the 'ball is no longer in his court'. In actual fact the 'ball' may have always been in his court but he just refuses to see it.
4) Upon reaching a milestone of his life (birthday, new year, xmas, etc...) will once again try to reinforce that all the resposibilities he has evaded was justifiable by saying statements such as 'i have no regrets during the past year' 'I was following my beliefs'. Sadly.... the more you repeat statements like that to yourself... you will eventually be convinced that it is true even if it is the exact opposite.

There are actually quite a number of other possible examples that i could state but i guess everyone has a rather clear picture by now. The irony is that i myself have been guilty of some of the above actions in the past. But at least i am honest about being dishonest.... I guess we can only work hard in trying to face realiy. Which is definately not the case for some people i know that seem to feel extremely comfortable with their head buried in the soil.... oh well!

Choosing to see what they wanna see....

2008-06-05T09:14:00.000-07:00

This being the first post in The Rotten apple i have decided to talk about a topic that has bugged me on quite a frequent basis this year and even more so recently.
From young i have heard of the question 'Is this glass half filled or half empty?' Ah... the theory of perception, a very interesting one at that too. However, have we ever stopped to think whether is our perception (which is highly influenced by our beliefs and lifestyle) clouding our judgment in the wy we handle situations?
I will try to elaborate based on 2 first hand scenarios that i have been through.

The first happened to be between me and a group of friends (or ex-friends) for that matter. In a nutshell it was about them having a problem with me with the way i handle my personal life. They/He felt that i was not doing 'The right thing' as opposed to him who felt that he has been doing 'the right thing' all this while.
Questions such as ' How is it possible for you to sort out your own feelings in such a sort time when i took 2 years to do the same?? You must not be Genuine' Started to surface.
All this eventually led to assumptions like 'I am not sincere', i am trying to prove to myself a point' all started to surface. There were even assumptions that just because i decide not to blog about my sorrow, i was in fact a happy man enjoying his life to the fullest.

The second happened in my worplace and was more straightforward. A guest was unable to drop by on a certain occasion to settle his bills as he was tied up at work. He was immdiately assumed by a certain employee that he was using a 'delay tactic' and was trying to delay the deadline of payment. Turns out that that was not the case though.

The first scenario ended up hurting me so badly that i thinkthose involved in the 'hurting process' are not even aware of what they have done. As for the second, lets just say that i got a earful from the guest because of that.

Kind of makes us think whether have we acted this way before doesn't it?
Oh well... i am actually dozing off right now... Just some food for thought.